Till I Get My Own…

Jan 7, 2011

You will be here next month.

My mind is a whirl.

So many big things swirling in there that it all seems to cancel each other out and I find myself staring ahead..strait into the whirling blur.

I feel you move and know you are mine. All mine. My main concern lately is not wanting to share you after you are here. Others love you too…but you and I have this……thing.

You know.

And I know.

The others love you…but you and I have this thing.

You are me and I am you. I never want you to leave me.

I was sitting here at my desk in front of my computer listening to this Jesca Hoop song..and crying. I can’t listen to it without crying. It’s like you are talking to me. And the answer is yes, you can borrow my hips and lips and wink and curl..till you get your own.

It occurred to me as I was listening to this that someday you will be a woman. Grown. With thoughts and fears and loves and heartbreaks. You might even be writing to your own baby girl someday listening to a song that reminds you that you are her and she is you. My heart felt you all grown up and wondering the things us grown up people wonder about and I wanted to put you back inside of me so we could figure it out together.

You and I.

You and I have this thing.

You know. I know.

I never want you to leave me…but I desperately want to see your eyes. Your own eyes. You won’t need to borrow mine anymore and that will be hard….but amazing to see that you are already so yourself.

I believe in you and your journey of independence..that is only moments away.

[audio:http://www.rachelthurston.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/11-Intelligentactile-1011.mp3|titles=11 Intelligentactile 101]

Wilfredo - hehe..nice.January 13, 2011 – 2:35 pm

Melanie - It must be one of the most excitingandscaryandeverythinginbetween times of your life Rach. You’ll be perfect for each other, you as her Mama, and she as your daughter. xJanuary 13, 2011 – 6:31 pm

Viktoria - so touching
so deep
thank youJanuary 14, 2011 – 2:10 am

kate - I love this song. You are going to be such a great mom! You and her together are going to be one heck of a team. :) xoJanuary 14, 2011 – 7:18 am

Emily Hatch - Beautiful Rach. You are an amazing mother already. :) Loves.January 14, 2011 – 7:36 am

Lisa - You know, I can remember crying when Jude was just 4 days old cuz I “missed” him—even though at the time he was in his bassinet right next to me. Pregnancy is a truly amazing gift (as well as motherhood).January 14, 2011 – 9:12 am

April - This is beautiful Rachel. Thank you for sharing!January 14, 2011 – 2:31 pm